How many child molestation cases are being tried right now across the US? How many unfortunate families are struggling with life or death decisions with relatives who left no living will? How many gun toting, acne faced, crack-voiced, adolescents with weird smiles on their faces and wearing floor length black dusters are striding through the hallways of how many social pressure cooker high schools right now? Well, as to the last question, none. It's a Saturday after all. The pimply little pricks are still in the shower stroking it. Later this afternoon they'll call Sally: "Can I ummm, come over tonight? We could, ummm, y'know, go down to that place, y'know?" Sally will allow as how that would be nice but she has to stay home tonight and wash her hair. Later he'll be out with his buddies at the Spudso Hip-Hop Coffee Shop and Tooteria and he'll see her there across the room. If the sound track to South Pacific had somehow started to rise in his mind it will quickly wind down like the DJ put his hand on the turntable and the mix will go all sick and stomach churning when he sees she's sitting with some guy from another high school and her hair is the only part of her that does NOT look wet. Maybe it's time to go home and inventory dad's gun cabinet.
Happens every day. Not news. You can see why the recent Minnesota incident only got a few lines and then was crowded out of the press by the more important concerns related to the pop star's prints on the Hustler magazine and whether or not to yank the feeding tube out of the arm of the vestal sacrifice before pushing her screaming into the flames at the temple of the antiChrist where she's been waiting on the top step for the last ten or f15teen years, fully conscious but just a little inarticulate due to the fact that there hasn't been a single neuron firing or misfiring in her cerebral cortex for years and years. Other than that she's fine. Probably would want to go out tonight if she didn't need to wash her hair or something.
I have a question for the neighbors of George W. Bush, down there in Waco, Texas - out in Crawford County where the rattlesnake WhiteHouse is stuck cheek-by-jowel next to the former Branch Davidian compound. Is it true that W. keeps some of David Koresh's embers burning in a little eternal flame monument to bizarre christian cults over by the Weber grill? Does he wander past the compound at sunset and wonder how different things might have been in the American child molestation business if Koresh had only lived and Michael Jackson had suffocated during nasal surgery?
I wonder how the families are doing up at the Red Lake reservation? I wonder if Bush had nothing to say because he didn't want to alienate the NRA?
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